Engaged To An Idiot
by Shinwa Meka
Summary: Some say the love of their life is thoughtful, charming, or kind. His? Well, his was an idiot.


"You what now?" inquired a normally composed brunette man who normally spoke elegant words.

Kristoff blushed. Who knew it would be this hard to propose to just one person in front of all his **friends** and family members? Obviously, he didn't. He groaned, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"You. Marry. Me. Yes or no?" Kristoff gruffly spoke.

The sophisticated brunette raised an eyebrow, feeling a tad bit flustered. He had not expected the blonde to offhandedly propose to him during the family reunion. Then again, he was talking about his boyfriend here. The one who had thought his boss would be all smiley and happy-go-lucky with him doing a rather jaw-dropping act in the office. Of course, the blonde was kinda tipsy. Little to say, the man got fired immediately afterwards included with a restraint order. What a lovely surprise it had been to him on Christmas nevertheless. Of course, his lover had spent countless days of begging and worshiping him just to lessen his anger. He sighed. It was a wonderful, peaceful quiet time with no insatiable beast trying to *ahem* have action-packed fun.

"I don't quite understand, Kristoff. Yes to what? No to what?" Hans replied, chuckling at the frustrated look on his lover's face.

Kristoff ruffled his hair. He let out an agitated sigh. "Goddamn you! Argh! You know what I men- meant! Marriage…will you marry me?"

Hans rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically as he held out his hand. "Do I even have a choice you bumbling idiot?"

The blonde grinned widely. A ring was quickly placed upon his lover's finger. He radiated joy and love from his very pores with a certain look in his eyes. Hans turned pale in fear. He wouldn't dare. He was not going to do that. Not in front of everyone.

"You, mister, are so not going to-hey! P-put me d-down!"

The man lifted him up and spun him around, much to the futile protests of the brunette. He whooped out in pure happiness.

"Whoo! Say ho! Say hey! Cause I got engaged today! Say all you want ya little motherfu-ow! What the fu-. Holy reindeer sh-okay, okay! I'll stop Ann...as long as you stop hitting me too!" Kristoff rubbed his arm that was slowly turning red. Man, she hits like those champion boxers-OW!

"What the heck did I do this time?" Kristoff glared at the red-head as he placed his lover back onto the ground.

Said red-head just gave a smile with her hands clasped behind her back. "Nothing at all. I just had a feeling someone was thinking about me in a not so positive way. That kinda ticked me off, and you were the closest thing to me soo...What a lovely day it is. Oh my! Look at the time! Well, I gotta go and get myself some of those things you say is water. See you dear brotha and don't do anything that makes Hans too," she suggestively wriggled her eyebrows, "you know." And with that, she bulldozed towards the beverage cooler, knocking over any unfortunate souls standing nearby.

"Ah-he-he-hem. Soo..." Kristoff began slowly. "Do you- ya know. Want to maybe-perhaps-not really-if you want to-uhhhhh-slow dance?"

The man scoffed. "You asked me to marry you and I said yes. What in the world could make you think I would say no to this damn dance? And don't you dare answer that."

"Whatever you say your royal highness." Kristoff winked.

Soon enough, they positioned themselves together. Their bodies fell into the rhythm of the soft beat. Hans gazed into the blonde's warm, hazelnut eyes and gently smiled.

He could not imagine not having this dork in his life. It would be terribly boring and quite...colorless if that made any sense. To him it did. It made a vast amount of sense. Kristoff was not just a splash of color on his life. He was the whole damn bucket poured onto the canvas declaring 'You can't live without knowing I exist. You're not allowed to.' And surely enough, that declaration became true.  
The brunette briefly closed his eyes and sighed, feeling quite content. Then he felt someone whisper his name. He looked up to see Kristoff staring him. And he was smiling widely. Uh oh.

"Pst, Hans. I want to tell you something. Okay, here it is. So two peanuts were walking down this alley, and then one of them got a-salted. Get it? I mean it's very punny and all. See! I did it again. Haha! I could be a comedian if wanted to and-Hans? Hellooo." Kristoff waved his hand in front of the man.

"An idiot. I'm engaged to an idiot." Hans rolled his eyes.

"Hey! I'll let you know that I find that extremely offensive and-" His words died off as a pair of lips pressed against his. Eventually, and reluctantly, they broke off.

"I may be engaged to an idiot, but you are my idiot."

Extra-  
She leaned against the wall **watching** the two lovebirds. They were so cute it made her want to throw up. Preferably on them. She grinned as Hans turned red at something Kristoff whispered into his ears then took a gulp of her drink. She gagged. Yep, definitely not water. She peered from the corner of her eyes at a figure stiffly walking towards her. Quickly, she straightened her back and tried to regain her composure.

"Hey blondie. You got what I need?"

The 'blondie' huffed in frustration as she handed over the cash into the waiting hand. The other woman gleefully counted the money.

"I thought he was going to do it at the tree-house. I mean, that's where they first met and all. If you hadn't suggested to him to do it here, I would've won this damn bet!"

"A bet's a bet. You lost Els, so deal with it sucker. Haha, in your face!" She quietly whooped. After all, Kristoff and Hans were still here and they had ears.

The platinum blonde pouted. "Shut up Anna."


End file.
